Today's post is not about making or cooking. It is dedicated to the amazing women I recently met, and the importance of a support system and community.
6 years ago, I left Chicago where I consider it my second hometown to start a new life with my husband in Orange County. For the longest time, I had blamed him for uprooting me from my friends and family. Although I met a few very good friends in Orange County, I never felt that I had a community or good support system outside of my workplace. I often felt lonely and sad. All I had was my husband and later my daughter. But had it not be those few good friends I met though work, I would have been depressed or worse, and I am grateful for the friendship. When we decided to move to the Bakersfield area, I again had to make new friends and community. I am a friendly person, but I am more of an introvert and not the one to go up to someone and introduce myself. In fact, I met my very first friend because my husband took our three years old to a story time, and he started talking to her. Now, we became very good friends and our daughters became good friends.
She introduced me to a group of mamas in Bakersfield who regularly meet with their children to play and chitchat. But this group has become much more than a play date group for me. When Sophia was born two months ago, I had such a hard time trying to recover from giving birth, nursing, taking care of our three years old, and taking care of the household. My own family not being here, I had little support. My husband helped as much as he could but taking care of a three year old can be difficult. I was exhausted, depressed, cried a lot, and felt guilty that I was not doing enough for my girls. I became short with my three years old, raised my voice at her quite often, and cried later on because she did not deserve for me to be like that with her. Then, these mamas did something amazing for me. They got together and delivered meals for one full week! Each of them took turn, prepared the meal for me and my family, and delivered to our door. By the time they started the meal delivery, I was so exhausted, i was serving my family cans of soup for dinner. That is a warning sign for my physical and mental well being. One of my supervisors once asked me how I would know if I am deteriorating mentally. I couldn't think of anything because I often do not realize When I am tired or overworked until I explode (often toward my husband). Now I know. If I stop cooking and a can of soup is becoming my family dinner, watch out! So, these deliveries were a gift from the universe. Most of these amazing women did not even know me well yet. All they knew was that there was an overwhelmed mama (me) who did not have much support and needed help. All of the women are mamas of small children, which means their hands are already full. Yet, they did this for me and my family.
Since then, I came to know these women better, and learned that many of them moved away from their family and community. Trying to build their own support system, they found each other. We meet a few times every week, let our children play together, and we talk about different things. I feel comfortable and supported. I am truly grateful for their friendship. I am still physically tired from nursing and running after My three years old, but I am emotionally more stable and mentally clearer. Thank you, ladies. Now it is time to cook!
You are an amazing woman and I knew it the first time I met you. As long as you are in Bakersfield you will have my support.
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