I have a confession to make. Even though I am a big advocate for local fresh food and homemade family meals, if you look into my freezer, you will see... (Gasp!) hot pockets and burritos you can pop them in a microwave, and in the pantry, you will see a box of Honey Bunches of Oats, and canned ravioli. No, they are not our "emergency food". They are for my step-daughter when she come over on weekends. Yes, I am guilty of feeding my 13 year old step daughter something that I would not give to my 3 year old. But you see, you need to understand that I came into her life when she was already 7, and she comes over only every other weekend. She has her home with their own rules and culture and who am I to change or even question them? But I do feel guilty and feel as if I am neglecting my step-daughter when I allow her to pop one of the frozen foods in the microwave for her lunch while I am making black bean quesadilla with mango salsa for my daughter. I do like to assure you that she does not mind, actually, she would rather eat those than what I normally cook. In the beginning, I tried to cook "kids friendly meals" such as spaghetti with meatballs, Mac and cheese (with mixed vegetables), chicken noodle soup, etc. and green smoothies my husband asks her to try...but she would not eat it. All she would eat was beans and rice with chips, pizza, french toast, waffle, or plain hamburgers (no ketchup, no veggies). We did not have another child then, so that was all we fed her with. I would cook "adult meals" for us, and she would eat pizza. When we had Ely, I was nervous how our family meals would be. Over the years my step- daughter started to eat some meals we prepare, including pasta with homemade tomato sauce, salmon with rice, fried fish, spinach ravioli from Costco (without sauce for her, with sauce for us). But still no veggies of much kind. We do take her to farmers market every weekend that she is with us, and I ask her to help me cook sometimes. We always ask her if she wants to eat salad, or broccoli, or creamed spinach, or whatever I am cooking. The answer is 99% of time, "no, thank you". And I also have to point out that she is not doing this out of defiance at all. If I may say as her step-mother, she is one of the most respectful and caring teenagers I have ever seen. And I work with adolescents and so does my husband.
We do, however, have family dinner when she comes over. I just have to make sure I prepare things that she would eat. Or, I would make sure that if she eats cheese or pepperoni pizza, I make veggie pizza for us and our three years old, or if she eats frozen burrito, I make black beans burrito for our three years old. If we have spaghetti, I have a big bowl of salad for whoever wants it.
So, you see, my friends, I do understand your frustration when your child or you partner would not eat healthy as yo would like to. I do understand how you want to say, "forget it, I am not gonna try to change them" and also feeling, "I am worried about their health in the future..." I am reminding myself that even for her to eat our pasta with homemade tomato sauce (I am taking about using 10-15 tomatoes) is a big progress. In fact, we kind of make sure that we have it for one dinner while she is with us.
We are truly hoping that as she grows older, going to college, to the world, and be exposed to different cultures, she would not feel so eerie about food that she will encounter. And somehow with maturity she will one day try new things...
Just hoping we are planting a little seed of curiosity...
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